:: the bathroom is my favorite room in the house ::

= a freewritten essay, sort of =

is that weird? I feel like for most people their favorite room would be their room -- or kitchen -- or studio. yet my reasons for my favorite are just as good as theirs. probably better.

   the bathroom is my favorite room because it has almost everything, not just necessary for survival (like water), but the luxurious extras. 

   aspirin. for when you have headaches.

   hairspray. to cause headaches.

   mouthwash. to taste horrible.

   toothbrushes. to get rid of the mouthwash.

   toilet plungers. for aesthetics.

all you have to do is install a fridge -- or just carry in a plate -- and you'll never have to go. (I mean "leave". not "relieve".) 

   next, I love the bathroom because it's nigh unto impossible to stay in there and not get clean. I love to be clean, and the bathroom provides a near-infinite array of options unto that end. also cleanliness is next to godliness, an added bonus.

   the bathroom is awesome too because it becomes a sanctuary for all my deepest thoughts. why do I blossom into The World's Next Most Influential Metaphysicist, Philosopher, And General Genius With All The Answers while in the bathroom? maybe it's something in the air, or the toothpaste (I buy crest whitening with scope, if you're interested). I don't know, but the bathroom always elevates my mind to soar beyond previously-discovered intellectual heights as my physical self stands firmly planted in reality (or possibly sits). ironic, perhaps. nonetheless true.  

   therefore I love the bathroom. its promotion of cleanliness, deep thinking, and privacy has quickly propelled it to become my favorite room in the house; also the fact that I always leave the bathroom feeling better than when I entered it. 

   that's a hard act to follow.

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