confusion. the power of gordon-levitt.
as I was taking my (copious) notes on what I thought of the actual plot and storyline, I also took (copious) notes on what seemed to be symbols and development and themes and stuff. I am not good at "symbols and development and themes and stuff" but I also know you improve only with practice, and this was sort of interesting to me, and I can't find much on night train anywhere else so I might as well be first.
woo.
one huge -- and unfortunately blatant -- motif in this book was that of sight. seeing is hugely important to raimund gregorius (whom I will call RG), at first for the physical reason of reading; as the story progresses, his physical sight comes to reflect the acuity of his spiritual & emotional sight, how well he sees and understands not only himself but those with whom he interacts.
the progression is most obvious in gregorius's glasses. the books begins in switzerland, where he wears his ordinary, comfortable, habitual glasses, the prescription of which he obtained from an old greek doctor-friend; when he reaches portugal, the glasses are knocked off and shatter. he happens to have a backup, but also gets a new prescription from an optometrist in lisbon, and the new glasses frighten him with their newness and clarity and precision. at first he hides behind his old glasses and refuses to use the new, but gradually 'outgrows' the old and abandons their use altogether. below are my original and -- except for a few cases of clarification -- undedited thoughts :)
"'nor was he uninformed, like a blind shut-in.' could it be: he wears glasses to read to better understand the world. his first pair is smashed (as his mind is opened by this book and he breaks out of his normal routine) & he acquires a second, new pair -- but he still fears blindness (i.e. ignorance and human disconnect). ... Doxiades. THE GREEK. DUH!! ...D helps him to see when in switzerland. senhora eça helps him to see in lisbon. from greek to portuguese. & then there is 'something' between RG & D -- a break in their relationship because of the break RG has had with his old life. and his new glasses seem 'importunate, even threatening in their new clarity.' he struggles to choose between them. either way, both will change how others see him. outside & inside worlds again; understanding of self in the context of (outside) world as well." and then I quoted:
"but the world was closer and more oppressing, it demanded more of you, but its demands weren't clear. when they became too much for him, these obscure demands, he retreated behind the old lenses that kept everything at a distance and allowed him to doubt whether there really was an outside world beyond words and texts, a doubt that was dear to him and without it he couldn't imagine life at all. but he could no longer forget the new view either and in a little park, he took out Prado's notes and tried the new glasses.
YEAH?! IT'S ALL ABOUT SEEING."
later, when gregorius is on his way home to bern, he has a serious spell of dizziness. these have been occurring sporadically throughout the book, but now they're getting bad and it's scaring him. he wakes up (on the train; this is important) and he tries to reassure himself with greek words. "greek, the security, the static, the old, the untouchable, immutable. he worries about resuming this old life, this cramped, untravelled blindness (as he can't resume his old glasses; as A[medeu] de P[rado] discusses in ch. 24 on travel) exactly because he doesn't want 'the time of his stay [to] be destroyed': to reassume a life of 'infinite possiblity' is one thing, but trying to fit in a small mold, when you have expanded, a whole different one. yet that is what RG is doing: reassuring his new self with the security of the old."
and telling, in the context of glasses, is the quote on page 424: "I want to go through life unknown. the blindness of others is my safety and my freedom."
next: obviously, of course, trains will be important since they even function in the title. right away, I noticed a passing mention of a poster for a movie that gregorius likes -- a movie he's never seen, but whose title intrigues him: l'homme qui regardait passer les trains, or 'the man who watched the trains'. I started to formulate this theory in my head that the trains symbolized life. at one point prado (the doctor) writes an essay on life and travel, and he compares living to a night train, rushing along to its destination -- fast, furious, unstoppable, hard to understand, and headed for a "last tunnel" from which we will not emerge. a few chapters later I wrote this:
"so who is 'the man who watches the trains'? [prado] &/or in a deeper sense, RG?I'm very decisive, as you can tell. and so good at deciphering deeper literary meanings.
in a sense, RG, because he has not, in P's sense, been riding one: he has watched it pass him by. and [he has watched] P's in particular: he went to lisbon & has seen this man pass before him through his own words and the words of others.
but even more so, I think, is 'the man' P: because he has learned about himself in watching others.
...as RG is doing now. [and I literally drew a frowny confused face]"
"the portuguese- and french-speaking lady: it all comes together in her. foil? to the red-coat lady, she reads le silence du monde avant les mots on the slow train because 'nowhere else was she so open to new things.'"
anyway, whatever I thought I understood was apparently confirmed, not too long after. I wasn't being super clear, but I think it had to do with the title.
"chapter 12's note, 'fleeting faces in the night,' totally corroborates my 'l'homme...' theory. for both men, their lives were going towards that 'last tunnel' -- as are all of us -- & both were casting 'fleeting, rushed looks at the others sitting behind dull glass in the dim light' as they feel their own train rushing faster than they want it to. both feel in the dark (night train), both hope to end in a place of fulfillment or understanding -- for P, the place he couldn't leave, for which he was always homesick, & for RG, the place he sought when nothing else offered the right security & where he found the most answers: for both men, lisbon.
I knew trains were important."
surprisingly, I didn't write anything categorically about travel. travel makes its way into my discussions of other things, but I didn't really focus on it (although there were a lot of things I didn't focus on that I could have. books. smoking. chess. love, and which aspects of it the four women in his life represented (from the "desire, security, pleasure" quote). is prado a vampire of life, and is his career as a doctor a subconscious way he battles himself -- and who are his victims? all things to ponder, but not here).
travel, I feel, is a very important part of the book, especially since the story is predicated on gregorius's trip to lisbon. sure, it mirrors his inward journey to self-knowledge, but I can't believe it just ends there. what about his trip to finisterre, and how does gregorius provide the foil for prado? is it that he is more adventuresome, more willing to break out of his mold; somehow free to leave the place of his own security, as prado is not? this is frustrating. anne, I want to know!
- "what is it when the rain turns to snow as RG leaves for geneva?"
- "doxiades's words give RG 'the courage to make this trip, despite the snow that started falling in bern.' ?? snow again."
- "'was he still mundus, the myopic bookworm, who had gotten scared only because a few snowflakes had fallen in bern?' SNOW. ??"
- "and as he enters the clinic, it starts raining. I need to understand this rain. 'at the entrance to the clinic, gregorius turned around and waved. then he went in. as the door closed behind him, it started raining.'"
a week later I came back and wrote this.
"POSTULATION. IF the rain symbolizes new life & growth -- say RG's when he was young & had life before him -- then the snow could conceivably scare him because it represents his own age, his own withering & the coldness of his life & freezing of his spirit. so he's scared and wants to get away, to a place of sun & youth, to find his deepest self -- perhaps the one part of him that does not grow old?
it is at the end of the earth (the end of himself & his knowledge) that P loses hope. and it is the same place where RG discovers human companionship -- accompanied by 'sun, wind, and words'."
- - -
very conclusive, am I not? < I can't even conclude one freaking blog post without a question.
I would like to have all the answers.
I would love to be able to read something once, put it down with a satisfied sigh, and thereafter be able to explain in depth all the deeper meanings, symbols, motifs, themes, and devices used in the book to anyone with the inclination to listen. no, not to impress them, but because I want to understand it. there is so much knowledge and insight out there, I want to glean as much of that from as many sources as possible.
sure, I won't agree with it all, but it will challenge me. the problem is, how can my mind grow and expand -- as john waters asked this week: "isn't that what college is for?" -- if I don't get what is trying to be said?
on the bright side, to just about everyone I'm still a baby. barely out of our teens, most of my contemporaries don't even know where they're headed (I am just extraordinarily lucky that way). I don't need to have everything figured out at this point -- not even everything in the books I read. I guess it would be nice to publish organized, insightful thoughts here on this one-faceted representation of me; but I need to remember these messy, unclear thoughts come closer to being who I am at this moment than any well-crafted and, haha, professional article could, no matter how I wish I could present myself.
and guess what? peter bieri actually mentioned this.
"life is not what we live. it's what we imagine living."
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by all means, leave a comment if you have something to share! please keep your language clean, respectful, and polite.
staying on topic would be nice, too, but I know that can be hard sometimes.