:: my problems with most homeschooled authors ::

after my last post's general irritation with bad writing (in general) and fantasy (in particular), I realized something that bugs me even more than just badly-executed books like eragon or for darkness shows the stars are books that are… well, to be frank, self-published by for-the-most-part-conservative Christian homeschoolers. I have a few "enjoys" in my list of self-pub'd reads, but for the most part, people self-publish because publishers don't want what they have to offer.
   publishers are businesses. they are looking out for what will make them money, which is selling a lot of books; they'll only sell a lot if the general public will buy a lot. so publishers are usually pretty up on current market trends and what people want.
   if a publisher doesn't take your book, people don't want it.
   don't publish it.

   there's a large movement among the stay-at-home-daughter sector towards writing and self-publishing. I think this is because writing is something you can do from home and it's easier now than ever to spread the word (literally and figuratively). it's easy and it feels like you're really making a positive difference in the world, because "here is good, wholesome fiction that all my friends tell me is hugely enjoyable; it has some sneaky references to my favorite fairy tales, classic novel, or sci-fi fantasy. also, it means I'm not wasting my time as I wait for my future husband to sweep me off my feet  and ride with me into the sunset! figuratively, of course."

   this trend is extraordinarily discouraging, because for the most part… these girls are terrible. they don't know how to write fiction. people tend to think -- until recently, I did, too -- that practice makes perfect, and if they keep trying, they'll get better. I no longer believe this, because all I see is stagnation: no improvement whatsoever. I think this stems from how few of these girls see problems with the fundamental structure of their stories. they just don't know better, so they blissfully continue to churn out stale, clichéd re-dos of old plot lines.

  I am a homeschooler. I have been a part of a larger homeschool group once, for a few months (and then we moved). I have little to no life experience, I have been sheltered, and I still like listening to the beach boys.
   there, I said it. I listen to the beach boys. OKAY.
   I do not at all look at the people around me and think they are somehow lesser because they are trying to spice up their lives. as often as I've said "I don't write," I actually have. somewhat frequently, when I was younger (although it's always been more poetry than prose). this is because I feel like there's something out there that I'm missing. our curriculum was literature-based, so I grew up on books like jane eyre, emma, a lion to guard us, the ramsay scallop, out of the dust, eagle of the ninth. I felt that that was what life was supposed to be! -- and it wasn't mine. I turned to writing, hoping that I could start something by writing "something odd happened today" -- how many girls begin their adventures that way? or "I woke up expectantly this morning; something is in the air" -- great catalyst for adventure, right?

   so I think I understand the longing for something greater, more exciting, more vibrant than the life you have now. nor do I want to discourage anyone from writing to get it out! the difference is that people are putting this written product on the internet. the stuff that's being put on blogs now would never have seen the light of day 20 years ago. it wouldn't have made it. you'd pass your manuscript around to select friends and family, they'd pat you on the back (or the head) and if you ever sent it to someone professional, it would end up in the slush pile, and there's the end of it.
   now, however, we have blogs. this means any- and everything gets paraded before the world, even if it's terrible, and that terrible is becoming the new standard. it's okay if you're bad; but putting the bad-ness out there for others to see doesn't make it good.

   part of the difficulty these writers have is that same lack of experience I wrote about yesterday. they have little to no experience that applies to the stories they're trying to tell; they write about situations and topics very, very far removed from their own sphere of knowledge -- because this is how they can vicariously live a more exciting life. at some level these girls don't think they are capable of writing a true-to-life story (because they never seem to), and they circumvent this inability to create real, compelling characters by giving them pointy ears and calling them 'yevna' and saying, "well, it doesn't have to be like real life, because I'm living in writing about a fantasy world!"
   what's even more sad: a beautiful writing style would cover a multitude of sins, but among most of these I-want-to-be-a-writer people, coherent, flowing sentences are few and far between. and the dialogue is only worse.

my problems, in sum, are:
1. fantasy, by anyone. if everyone stopped thinking of fantasy as the only genre anyone will ever read, the number of dragon/elf/magicpeople books would drop and the occasional fairy would make for a cool twist on the usual. be original, truly creative -- instead of trying to be the next r. j. anderson, christopher paolini, cornelia funke, or (heaven forbid) j. r. r. tolkein.

2. homeschoolers writing bad fantasy. do you realize the image you're putting out there, of all of us? we all look incapable of writing about anything other than lotr, chronicles of narnia, and the occasional period drama -- which extensive life experience gets poured into tales of imaginary creatures. who have remarkably familiar names, like elves. and do these polite things, crazily reminiscent of old-fashioned manners. 

   huh. wonder why.
3. homeschoolers writing badly, in general. THIS SHOULD BE AN OXYMORON. you have parents whose sole job is to train you and educate you. a big part of that education should be how to successfully communicate.
   so why. do you write. that terribly. 
   maybe your mom wasn't a great writer and your dad doesn't know how. heck, take a writing class and learn. take it online. take it from a conservative, Christian university. but stop cementing bad practices and insisting it will make perfect, because it won't. and please learn how before you spend your dad's hard-earned money on self-publishing overused plots that nobody but your friends will read.

and these are my problems with the homeschooled, Christian writer circles.